Feeling Kinda Nostalgic

Gonna see if I can find songs of the past decade, hopefully more from the years 2000-2003.

Lost....

the show I mean. It comes back in Feb and I am following a few blogs that give spoilers away, however I was mainly following for House and Fringe, but just glances at the Lost one and saw something that intrigued me and another thing that confused the hell out of me and kinda pissed me off. I cannot wait for this next season to start, so I don't have to wonder anymore. It's bittersweet really, I don't want it to be over, but actually I kinda do.

Pull the Trigger

I can keep on screaming til your ears bleed
But still you won't hear me
I can keep on crying til you can't stand it
But still you won't see me
I can hold my breath until I'm blue
just to fuckin' please you
And you still won't give a damn

I can give you the murder weapon
And still you won't kill me
You'll just let me suffer
Until I can't get enough
When all I want to do is die
And not have to deal with this stuff

Please just pull the trigger

The Internet Is So Awesome Sometimes!

I just love reconnecting with people I haven't been connected to in ages. I've found a friend recently whom I haven't seen since the 7th grade and whom I haven't heard from since probably 8th grade or freshman year. It feels like I'm somebody when I find out that somebody was looking for me. I never thought of myself as memorable or important, but apparently I am. That feels nice knowing someone cares enough about me to wonder what I am doing after 15 years. I'm feeling pretty good today, hopefully nothing brings me down.

I Knew This Was Going To Happen...

I knew there was going to be a time when my family forgot all about Christmas values, traditions and faithfulness. I just didn't want it to be so soon. We're not doing anything as a family. They put up the tree without us. Dad's putting up the lights by himself. And they want me to decorate the tree by myself, which I refuse to do, it shouldn't be a chore. I am waiting for Corie to decorate with me, although I am really upset because he told me he wouldn't do it if it wasn't the family, so I have to do some mad convincing. :( Tis the season.

Thanksgiving

well, thanks for the nice meal and the time spent with family, thanks for a day without arguing. But I've been thinking not about giving thanks, but about giving. Giving on holidays and birthdays, what I've given and what I've received. Is it really ok to keep something for yourself knowing that someone you love wants it just as much, if not more ?? Is it really ok to give you pretty close friend a gift that was bought and your best friend a gift that was recycled ?? Is it really ok to give your friend something that you like instead of what she wants ?? If it's the thought that counts than how come nobody ever thinks about what they are giving people. I know personally I put a lot of thoughts in the gifts I give, but sometimes I think I put too much thought in them, considering what I get from people is not nearly as special in the thought department. It hurts me.

Speaking of things that hurt me, I have not written in a few days, ok maybe a week and this is all due to the fact that I have been very sad lately, as my mom's sister, my Aunt Gloria, mom's only living full blooded relative left from her family (other than her kids, me and Donny) passed away this past Thursday and the whole family has been very sad. Even going to a convention didn't really cheer us up much, partly due to the fact that the con was in it's first year and highly unorganized, but we did find some really cool stuff and totally bought them. I decided to be generous and get my best friend a shirt that totally broke me. LOL, but whatevers it's what I do to show love.

Speaking of love, with all the love I show to people, I feel very under appreciated. I hate to sound vain, but this Thanksgiving Day, people oughtta be thankful for me.tH

In Your Prayers

Keep us in your prayers. My Aunt Gloria is not responding to medical treatment and my mom's depressed about it and so am I and the rest of the family, so please keep us in your prayers.