So This Is It

I am thinking that her deleting he lj has given me my answer. She really is done with me. She doesn't want me to find her at all. It's over. This is it. I no longer have a best friend. Somehow I thought it would hurt less than this considering all the shit she has put me through, but actually I am getting a major headache thinking about it, of course that could be due to the fact that I have to go to work soon. Uggh. Just what I need angry customers. Well you know what? I still have friends who mean the world to me and who treat me like a true friend should be treated, so like the journal is title, I'm Still Breathing.

No More Pretending

I think I am done pretending I mean anything to my ex best friend. She doesn't care for me, never did and even though I sat around moping that I had lost someone important to me. Even though I sent her a long message only to get no reply, even though it hurts me like a bitch, I cannot sit here and pretend like she was an angel. She treated me like dirt and even though it's hard for me to accept that I let her take advantage of me and even though it sucks that I let her use me and it sucks she never cared. I need to just let it go. I need to move on. She never loved me like a sister and she never will. I will cherish those good memories we had, but that's as far as it goes. No looking back. No more pretending.