Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. This Christmas will be especially hard for me.

Tron: Legacy

Go see it! It's great!

Through With This!

I'm done. Listen up! I will call the cops if you come around my home or my anywhere near my friends, I will file a harassment claim. I have kept the messages. I have all the evidence I need to make my claim If you come around here you are trespassing. And that is against the law. I am through with second chances. I have given you a million chances. I tried my best to make this work, but it didn't. I can't do this anymore. I do not need this drama in my life. I am a grown woman. I do not need this middle school drama anymore. I am very sick of it. I am through trying. I want to just live my life and be happy. I have done so much for you, spent so much for you, and ask nothing in return but friendship and respect. And you cannot give me that. So be it. Fine. But I am not having it. I don't want this in my life. And believe me I will call the cops if you come around here. I have already blocked your numbers. And you seem to have already blocked me from social networking sites, so that's that. We do not need to play games. Let's just move on and do our own thing. It obviously was not meant to be. And by the way, a gift is a gift is a gift. And by law you are not at all obligated to give back anything that was given to you as a gift. I have many witnesses for what progressed tonight. I am by no means threatening anyone. I just want this to be over and done with. No contact whatsoever. No communication. I don't want to see you again. Neither of you. Leave me alone, as well as my loved ones or I promise the cops will be involved. Just please leave me be. Leave me alone. Get out of my life. Please, let's just move on. Goodbye to you.

26 Years Old Today.

I hate to sound selfish, but it's my birthday and I am alone in my room, while everyone is more concerned about my cousin shipping off into the military. Mom pretty much told me, my birthday meal might not be for free. And my husband is working all damn day. He couldn't ask for the day off for me. For me!!! I am pretty sad right now, I feel so alone.

Wow...just...wow

I cannot believe what a self absorbed prick my cousin is when it comes to women. He treats them like dirt. He leads them off and then shoves them away. He changes women like he changes his underwear. Now I understand how he is going into the Marines and how no girl should be attached to him, but still when he cuddles with them and hangs with them and talks to them, this gives the girl the impression that he is interested. And then he doesn't even begin to be strait with them, he just secretly moves on to the next. This wouldn't normally be a concern of mine, but he is messing with my friends. It sucks that he would do this. It pisses me off. I hope these ladies understand that he is just a typical man and don't let his prickyness affect them. I really hope.

Really??

This blog post was supposed to be how I just got married and returned from the honeymoon. Oh happy day, etc, etc, but I feel as if I have gotten so much crap today I may as well go ahead and say what's on my mind.

I am tired of living at home. I wish I had enough money to move out. But I don't. I have to wait for the waiting list at low income housing to go down, so I can apply. Unfortunately I do not know how long that will take. It maybe be quite a while from now and until then I am stuck in this house. I do not feel that this house is a home at all. I do not feel like I can trust anyone. I feel suffocated in here. I feel as if I cannot breathe without having to ask anyone. I am always be lectured about something I did or didn't do and to tell you the truth I am quite sick of it. I am quite sick of hearing that I never help out, when I do or that I have an attitude or whatever. The only person is this house I can count on to not treat me like a little girl is my husband and my poor husband is too shy and passive to speak on our behalf. So we get these lectures at least once a month if not more. And then to top it off we get people in out faces about how we need to act, who we need to be, etc. Nobody even knocks our or damn door!

Uggh and the one person who I thought was on my side, just hurt my feelings about how we better give her a good b-day present b/c every year all we do is take her out to dinner and here I thought she had a good time going out with us. It was just plain rude to burst in here and tell me all the previous birthday gifts sucked. And she thinks that it wasn't out of line. Well you want to know out of line. Out of line was when all I asked for Christmas was a guitar and I got everything, but a guitar. All I wrote on the dam list was a guitar. But I have not mentioned that to you. Nope, kept my mouth shut, b/c it's not appropriate to bring up the past.

Thank you for making this day suck even more. I cannot wait until Corie comes home. I need Corie. I need my husband. Two hours of work left and he's home.

Less Than A Month

I will be married in less than a month. It's exciting, but really stressful. I hope all goes well, I need things to be ok.

I Feel Horrible

I do not know what is going on with my friend at home, but I know it is something bad. I want to make sure everything is ok with her. And then to top that off I keep seeing her ex boyfriend's friends make fun of her on facebook and it just pisses me off. I do not know what their problem is, but it just irks me that this is happening. He could easily delete those comments, but he just leaves them there. I do not understand why this is going on. I do not know what Ellie did to piss them off. People act like such fucking children! I swear, this isn't high school. Grow the fuck up. Seriously. Ok well my babe should be home any minute so I better make this the end, esp since the internet is gonna cut off anyway. Bye for now.

It's So Weird

The internet has not been working in my house. Lately it's been working kinda better, but still not goof. Right now it's working, but I am not really sure what to do. Weird huh? When it's gone I miss it, but now that it's here....I am completely lost.

I Still Have to Work!!

I still have to go to work at 5pm, which means I am closing which also means it's going to suck. I am at home right now and today should be having a good time with my love and instead I am fuming mad at him because 1) He's rather spend time on the computer in the living room than on my laptop in my room, while simultaneously spending time with me and 2)he'd rather starve than make us some lunch. I told him if my parents weren't home I'd be glad to go out there, but to be honest I would rather not deal with them at this moment, things have been pretty bad in my house lately. I do not want them to get worse and he should understand this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Convinved...

my father hates me. I cannot wait to move out. God, please help me out of this hell hole!

Things Will Be Ok

I do not know what I'd do without mom.

Relieved

It was the tires on the car! Nothing wrong with the shocks! We got a new tire and we are all set! Hooray! We can go to AFO with no worries!Except the whole money thing! Arrgh! Oh well.

I Hate This!!!!

Honestly, this whole no internet thing is pissing me off. My family knows what the problem is and yet they don't even try to fix it. Corie is working today. I am bored without him and also very afraid of being bothered. Why can't people just leave me be. I so cannot wait to move out of here, hopefully this will happen very, very soon. I cannot handle this madness. I am so sick of people not being able to communicate. I answered a question like four times earlier, just freaking listen! Corie and I have spent over 1,500 toward the wedding and nobody else has spent anything and they think we have plenty of time. I thought they were going to give me 1000 dollars at one point. It didn't happen. Then I was told Mom would take me to get some of the table stuff, hasn''t happened yet. My dad tells me today...he's going to give me 250.00, that was in the morning, hasn't happened yet, I don't even think he has left the house. And what exactly will that give me anyway. I was talking to a bride's maid the other day and she seemed to be upset that I wanted a shower and a party. Well I told her if she didn't want to come she did not have to. I was going to do lunch for the shower and exhange gifts with my friends, like a personal little get together and the party is just a party...any female is invited, not just my close personal friends and this is to happen the Sat before the wedding. Why ask if I should have them both? It is tradition and it's not like it's going to cost any one anything, but me. Anyway, not important right now. Because the true, true thing is that nobody's parents are helping out. Go ahead go shopping, buy dvds and get pampered, forget about the impending wedding, it's not that important. Lord, please, get me out of here!

Blurry

Everything is going blurry. I think it's time for me to stop crying and to just go to bed. Good night world.

Effing Florida

He wants to be close to his mom. Meaning he wants to stay in Florida. The heat, the rain, the nothing to do unless you have money. The southerness of ceratain people. The lack of jobs. He wants to stay here.

I want to go up north, to where the air is crisp in the fall, and in the winter it snows, and in the springtime it rains, and in the summer....it's hot, but not muggy. I want my children to experience four seasons. I want to be above sea level. I want good public transportation.

He wants to be close to his family. I won't win. I have to accept my Floridian fate.

In the Words of Maya Angelou

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

And you have made me feel like the lowest form of shit. I can't wait 'til you finally understand the heartache you have caused me. If you hate me so damn much, then why you fucking kill me, the world would be better off without a "retarded, fat, manipulative bitch" anyway.

One Sweet Day

I found out that my best friend from high school, Kathleen Sturdy has been killed in a car accident. She was on her way to visit her dad and went missing for two days. Her car was found off a 300 foot cliff. I am absolutely devastated. I have been crying all day since I have learned of her passing and am finding it hard to cope. She was 25, just like me. I miss her.

It's things like this that make you realize how short and precious life really is. I don't want to lose my friends. I hate even thinking about it. And the weirdest thing happened. At church the service was about true companions. The true friends and relationships in your life that are forever and that you need to cherish for the rest of your life. It was so odd because earlier today we were having such a dilemma trying to figure out what will become our friendship with a certain someone and then Vernon just made things all make sense.

God was sending us a message. He was giving us a sign and even though I am in major mourning right now, I know God is with me and that I will never truly be alone.

Rest In Peace Kathleen. You will live in my heart forever. I'll miss you girl.

I Need This

I need to break out of the norm and do something good for once. I need to live. I hope things go well, if not, it's back to the drawing bored. And that's it, no more trying, I'll just give up.

So Effing Hot, So Effing Bored

It's too hot to do anything, so I am so freakin' bored and Corie's not home, so I am even more bored. Grr. I am also hungry, but there is nothing to eat and nobody home to cook for even if there was. Annoyed. Gonna go find something to do.

I've Learned My Lesson

If I hear a song on the satellite at night or early in the am, I will write it down otherwise it will be impossible to find. I knew I should have pressed info, but it was 7am and I didn't want to wake up Corie. Grrr. Now I'll just hope they will play those two songs again tonight. Damn it, I know they won't though.

Tonight

I do not think I am gonna go out with work buddies,they have no replied. Oh well, Corie and I can still has a party amongst the two of us.

I Won't Be Late..

for a very important date...tonight is the Alice release party. Woot. If only the day would go as well as I suspect the night to go, I'd be set. Fucking stupid boys and there damn video games. Ignoring me and my hunger. Grr!

It's Really Over

I know some people might not understand, but this is actually very hard for me to write. I have been crying for the past couple of days. I feel like such an idiot, but I just cannot believe my fave show is gone. I cannot believe LOST is over. It is really over. I honestly feel like a part of me has died. And looking over at my shelf and seeing the DVDs is really making it worse. I didn't watch JKL because I was too sad to laugh about this sort of thing. I am not ready to jump back into the world of LOST. The ending wasn't something I wanted, it was something I knew, something I predicted, but nothing I wanted, well I mean the island ending anyway, the flash-sideways ending was actually pretty clear and decent and sort of ended with a sense of hope and togetherness, but the island ending was just so damn sad, but at the same time, not really surprising. Corie and I both wanted the Un-Locke smackdown to be more of a Sayid/Keamy kind of fight, but that didn't happen, it was still good though. Well before I start getting depressed all over again, I think I'll just say goodbye.

Dear LOST

Today is the last new ep before the SERIES FINALE! Please don't end without closure, please tie all those loose ends and please, please, please do the right thing about Kate!

LOST & MORE

Decided to throw a little series finale bash for LOST. I think it will be interesting for my friends to see me bawl my eyes out.

FlashForward has been canceled, I cannot say that I am surprised. I honestly cannot wait for the damn show to end. I liked it at the beginning, but then it got totally annoying. It's too much of a fucking soap opera for me.

Anyways, I had a bad day at work today and all I want to do is curl up in front of the mindless tv and cuddle with my man. My fiance has been great with me lately, hoping things stay this well.

Happy B-Day Sweetheart

It's Cor's b-day and he's working. I feel so bad for him, but he said he needs the money anyway. We booked the Civic Center for the reception. Hopefully, we do not need to pay until the day of, which is good. We are going to be getting ink on Thursday to do the invitations and hopefully we will be able to send them out this weekend. I am going to see if I can work on them a little more today and also see what else I can buy with the money I have saved already.

We have decided to get rid on Monday night church in favor of Sunday morning church instead, which will be better for us in the end. We feel bad, but this means we can utilize Mondays for hanging out with our buddies! Anyway, I am off to do something productive.

Happy 22 baby!

Depressed.

I wish people cared enough to help.

Am I The Only One?

Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she could sleep forever?

Worried

Such a headache, make it go away.

Psych

I still have a very keen interest in psychology. I still want to get into people's brains and see what makes them tick. I was watching this Fatal Beauty Countdown of Notorious Women on E! yesterday and number one was Casey Anthony. I am sure people around the world know who Casey Anthony is, the women convicted of murdering her child Caylee. It actually kinda shocked me, I had completely forgotten all about her, at least I was trying to, see the media was all over that, especially the Central Florida media, which is where it took place and coincidentally where I am from. I decided to look it up, cuz I think the case is still going on, I believe she is awaiting a 2011 trial to see if she gets the death penalty or something. Don't worry I am not going to talk about the death penalty here. Too much controversy. I live in a state where it is acceptable and as a matter of fact pretty much all of America is, so no matter what my opinion is won't change a thing. It's interesting that in most countries Capital Punishment is illegal. Anyway, back to Casey, I can never understand why a mother or father can kill their own children and not have remorse. If you did not want a child..then there were many ways to prevent the pregnancy and if you did go through with the pregnancy than you can put the child up for adoption. I mean really, don't have kids! It pisses me off to know how many people killed their own children. Oi! And then people who just plain kill. Why? What goes through their heads. I mean some people seemed pretty rational, but then on the inside they are as crazy as a loon. All this law talk about motives, some serial killers just don't have a motive, some do it for the entertainment or the excitement, which has got me thinking how fucked up are people really and then I got extra nervous and looked up how many missing people on the FBI's list of missing people are from Florida and there were quite a lot, but then again there were quite a lot from Cali too. But it sill freaks me out. I think I am just being paranoid. There prolly weren't more than ten on that list, but still it scares me. I really need to lay off the horror novels I read. Maybe it's my massive cold talking.

You know sometime in the future I plan on moving to Mass, where gay marriage is legal and Capital Punishment isn't. Gay marriage isn't legal in Florida, which is weird because we have such a big gay community I think. Unfortunately, I believe Florida is also a mainly Republican state due to all the elderly living here, no offense to them or anything, it's just that I am a minority (even though I totally hate that word due to the fact that it's not really true anymore). I hear Florida has the third highest population of illegal immigrants and I totally believe it. In fact we should be higher. Ok well this odd and random post is done. Until next time, I'm outtie.

LOST EVENT IN THEATERS?

If it is in Florida, than I am so freaking there! No new spoilers, no new theories really. FF has been confusing me lately. Fringe is back next week. I better eat something before I die!

WHAT THE F***?!?

You were fucking home all fucking day long and I could give a shit if you did yard work, because like when I got here there was 2 guys plus my bro and my cuz so I know it did not take you long to do so and I fucking work today and yet you still fucking tell me to the dishes and I cannot refuse b/c I don't want to hear your fucking mouth running about how I never do shit around here when I am the only on who ever does anything, me and Corie. And Corie isn't really obligated to do anything because he's not theirs, he's mine. But how dare you assume it is my responsibilty to clean dishes that I don't even make. Fuck that shit!

Growing Up

Some of my girlfriends need to learn how to live life and grow up. There is a whole world outside there, get out and into it and love it! Enjoy the little life you have because before you know it, it might be gone. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Widmore

Widmore on a sub headed toward the beach, need I say more ?

Suddenly Scared

I suddenly find myself being scared about things I wasn't before. I am scared of my manager because even though she is the one who hired me, and even though she's nice, she goes by the book and I am so scared that I will screw up and get fired and won't be able to find another job. I is sad.

I am also scared for my friend, Chu, because she's jumping into the water too wuickly with this guy she used to date. She wants to go away with him to Tampa for a weekend...by herself. I think it's a bad idea, but I cannot stop her. All I can do is pray!

And then I am also scared that Corie's grandma won't allow us to have the reception at her house and everything is going to fall apart for the wedding. I am dead worried about this wedding.

And my mom's leaving for PR for a few days. Hopefully her trip is safe and well and hopefully she'll be able to spread her sister's ashes with no trouble. I'm outtie for now. Buh-bye.

LOST...that pretty much sums it up

LOST's last season has not really give me anything to be happy about. I have not gotten any answers to the questions I have. They pretty much just confirmed what I already theorized before. I have no idea still who certain people are. I am dying to know the 5 w's of Richard, Jacob and Smokey, as well as Adam and Eve, but still no answers. Also...I want Jin and Sun to reunite, a good reuniting and not like Danielle and Robert and I am so afraid that might happen. Please don't let Jin succumb to the Man in Black, please wait until you reunite with Sun to make decisions so large, get well, go with your gut and I am so sure your gut says RUN!

NIP/TUCK end tonight. I am really kinda sad and also a bit stunned and confused. What the hell is going to happen tonight? I hope Sean and Christian can mend fences. And I hope Matt will realize his stupidity. I'm not gonna hold my breath, but I will cross my fingers.

No New Spoilers!!

It's driving me absolutely insane!!!! Damn all the spoilers sites for letting me down!

Wish There Was More I Could Do

I feel so bad for my friends, especially Maya, she struggles with letting go. She needs to understand that no matter what she does, she will never please her parents, and she needs to learn not to listen to them anymore, they will always oppress her. Well, maybe Pastor Joel praying for her will help.

AFO costumes?

Need to figure out what I am going to do for AFO so I can save money for costume material and stuff. I gave myself a headache looking at all the fairy things I need to get in order to be the ultimate fairy. Uggh. I need to stop thinking. I'm checking myself out until LOST starts.

OMFG! Let go people!

When will parents understand that when their children turn 18...they are no longer kids. It annoys me they way some of my friends are treated by their 'rents. I am highly annoyed by the fact some people cannot let go.

Stupid Ass People...

WTF?? What the hell kind of logic do you have? You're just a fucking bitch who doesn't give a damn about your real friends. Have fucking fun sucking balls!!!

Annoying

Honestly, this is really fucking annoying. I cannot believe he actually wants me to listen to this. Not only is it annoying, but it's also downright offensive to fans. I cannot believe this garbage. You would think that Darlton would appreciate their fans and not condescending. Uggh.

Shoulda Gone To Denny's

I am so fucking pissed off right now! Here we have the possibility of a perfectly good Monday night. I finally get to go to church with Corie, Ellie and Maya and of course naturally, we always go somewhere after church. Tonight, even though I was really feeling Denny's...we ended up going to Steak-n-Shake. As soon as we got there, we were told to find a table and we did. Then it took us forever to get menus from the server. The server finally hands us our menus and we look it over....he came over a little while after and asked us if we were ready and we said we needed more time, so he told us the next time he comes over we should be ready, which I thought was a little out of line, but I figured he was joking, since we have seen this particular server a few times and he had this sarcastic and humorous personality. So he comes back and before we could even order he said that the last time he served us...we did not leave him a tip. I was flabbergasted, I was so taken aback I could not believe it. We made a few comments and told him he must have been mistaken and told him our order. We eat and then we discuss how rude it was to confront us like that and we decided that we were confused as to whether he was being serious or joking so Maya stood up for herself and decided to ask him when he came to our table again, when he did, she asked him and it turns out that he was being serious and he was even more of an ass than before, so I had felt a rumble rising inside and decided enough was enough I need to leave before I explode in this asshole's face. I go up to pay and when I do, he starts to "apologize"...and apology made of fucking lies so he can get his beloved "woe is me, I am having a bad day" tip. Fucking Ass! So at this point I am livid, tears welling up in my eyes, I confront him...I HAVE NEVER EVER STIFFED A SERVER EVER! No matter how bad of a job they do...I ALWAYS make sure I have enough money to leave them something b/c I was a server at Denny's and I know how shitty it feels to be fucking left with nothing, but a dirty table. I was pissed that he made a false accusation, as a matter of fucking fact the last time we went to S-n-S...we had a female server and she sucked balls at serving, but we gave her a tip and the time before that...we had a server named Stefanie who we get all the time and she was there and she went to the table and apologized for his behalf and even said that he must be crazy because we are not the type of people who do that...so anyway after I confronted him I started to cry because I was just so hurt that someone could make a perfectly good night into hell. I was pissed and I sort of told him off in front of everyone in the store and even though he apologized it was not sincere and he even said some smart ass things during his apology like that we could call and complain if we like which sounded to me like a threat and also he gave me a fucking cookie as if to say "shut the fuck up bitch, you are embarrassing me" and I hope to goodness I did embarrass him, I hope my outburst made him feel guilty and I hope everyone in that place heard me...so that maybe I ruined his night and he got even less tips b/c the truth came out. Fucking prick can kiss my ass. He told me he has balls so fucking huge and that's why he said what he did, well I hope he likes his balls unemployed because I made such a commotion the manager heard. Serves him right if he gets fired too, next week we are going to Denny's...my girls at Denny's never treat me bad.

Hungry

I can eat some cake right now. But I'll think I'll settle for a sammy.

Finishing Season 4 Up

Only 24 or 23 days left until the Season 6, the final season of LOST. It's pretty darn exciting. Well I gotta get back to watching LOST. Bye for now.

Wedding Gown

I finally paid off my wedding gown and it feels so damn sweet. So now I sit here, broke but happy in the cold watching LOST with my fiance and my cuz. And doing some random internet stuff. You know what? They say it might snow here. I'm not sure, but it might. They said it'll snow tonight maybe or tomorrow morning, but I got my baby to keep me warm tonight :) Oh, and the reason I mention the snow is because I live in Florida and it does not snow in Florida. Ow! I got major cramps and I am really not sure why. I think my period might be coming soon, but I thought it wouldn't be here 'til around the 20th or so, but oh well. Ok seriously in pain, gotta go.


Leave it alone...
he's never gonna quit, he doesn't care, so just drop it. If he cared about himself he would have quit long ago. If he cared about us he would have quit long ago. If he wanted to quit he wouldn't be arguing with you right now. Right now he doesn't care about anything, he's beyond selfish and unfortunately beyond help. I hate when these two are off together...all they do is argue. Poor woman, she thinks she can change him, but he cannot change if he isn't listening to what is being said.

I thought they were remaking that...

Hmm. I need to find a website dedicated to finding out about Asian movies being re-made into American films.

Bored.

Absolutely nothing on tv, not that there is supposed to be on a Sat night anyway. Cannot wait for Corie to come home so he can bring some munchies. I am hungry. Dad did not cook today because he has a hangover or something like that. I don't know. I mean I could have cooked only nothing was pulled out, but I did do the dishes and Corie and I had McD's for lunch. But that was forever ago, what am I to do ? Uggh. Maybe I can catch him before he leaves so he can get us some frozen goodies. I dunno. I'm outtie.