I'm Convinved...

my father hates me. I cannot wait to move out. God, please help me out of this hell hole!

Things Will Be Ok

I do not know what I'd do without mom.

Relieved

It was the tires on the car! Nothing wrong with the shocks! We got a new tire and we are all set! Hooray! We can go to AFO with no worries!Except the whole money thing! Arrgh! Oh well.

I Hate This!!!!

Honestly, this whole no internet thing is pissing me off. My family knows what the problem is and yet they don't even try to fix it. Corie is working today. I am bored without him and also very afraid of being bothered. Why can't people just leave me be. I so cannot wait to move out of here, hopefully this will happen very, very soon. I cannot handle this madness. I am so sick of people not being able to communicate. I answered a question like four times earlier, just freaking listen! Corie and I have spent over 1,500 toward the wedding and nobody else has spent anything and they think we have plenty of time. I thought they were going to give me 1000 dollars at one point. It didn't happen. Then I was told Mom would take me to get some of the table stuff, hasn''t happened yet. My dad tells me today...he's going to give me 250.00, that was in the morning, hasn't happened yet, I don't even think he has left the house. And what exactly will that give me anyway. I was talking to a bride's maid the other day and she seemed to be upset that I wanted a shower and a party. Well I told her if she didn't want to come she did not have to. I was going to do lunch for the shower and exhange gifts with my friends, like a personal little get together and the party is just a party...any female is invited, not just my close personal friends and this is to happen the Sat before the wedding. Why ask if I should have them both? It is tradition and it's not like it's going to cost any one anything, but me. Anyway, not important right now. Because the true, true thing is that nobody's parents are helping out. Go ahead go shopping, buy dvds and get pampered, forget about the impending wedding, it's not that important. Lord, please, get me out of here!

Blurry

Everything is going blurry. I think it's time for me to stop crying and to just go to bed. Good night world.

Effing Florida

He wants to be close to his mom. Meaning he wants to stay in Florida. The heat, the rain, the nothing to do unless you have money. The southerness of ceratain people. The lack of jobs. He wants to stay here.

I want to go up north, to where the air is crisp in the fall, and in the winter it snows, and in the springtime it rains, and in the summer....it's hot, but not muggy. I want my children to experience four seasons. I want to be above sea level. I want good public transportation.

He wants to be close to his family. I won't win. I have to accept my Floridian fate.